In general I would say I am a rather cheerful person. Especially when I'm working, I'm full of energy and make sure I have a smile on my face when people open their doors. Sometimes, unfortunately, that smile turns out to be an unfitting gesture.
Today had one of those moments. Here is an example of a short emotional rollercoaster working a pharmacy shift can contain:
Me, all happy: "Hello! Delivery from the pharmacy!"
A man, looking a little dissociated, opened the door. While I was struggling to read the situation, he opened the bag I had offered him to see what was inside. With watery eyes he looked at me and said: "I called the pharmacy to cancel this. This was for my wife. She died yesterday."
I immediately felt a hole in my chest that filled itself with sadness and guilt for a mistake I didn't make. Now we were both lost in the situation.
After offering my condolences and (I hope) a decent amount of apologies, he handed me back the bag, and on I went.
'Luckily' the appartement was located on the 11th floor, so I had some time to cry in the elevator.
Just enough time to let the emotions out. Because once downstairs, you're on the move to the next patient. Who, more often than not, is waiting for your arrival. And, for whom you don't want to forget to smile.
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