Tenerife - Suffered a lot, whined a little

After the first ride here being 'just' 82kms, I wanted to do a longer ride the next day. Because how else am I going to make it to 30.000 this year? 🤡
While making routes I soon realised I'd have to climb more than 3000m if I wanted to do a 100+km ride. Accepting that fate honestly felt like a stupid idea, since I've never climbed much over 2000m before. (And when I did this, I was fucking dead.) I made the route anyway, called it something like "All this suffering just to see a lighthouse?", and would decide how I felt about it in the morning.

In the morning I checked the route again to see if there was anything to be done about the steepness of some of the climbs, but there really wasn't. So it was all or nothing, but 'nothing' was not what I came here to do. I had to go.

Next to the worries I had around the height of the climbs, climbing was also something I'd never done on my own yet. So even though the choice to go was easily made, I was still very nervous right before leaving.
But if there's one thing that life has taught me about how to deal with any type of anxiety, it's this: Don't think too hard about what's making you anxious, think about what you can teach yourself by going through with it.

I would either make it and teach myself to have more confidence in my cycling skills, or I would fail to complete the ride and then teach myself how to solve the problem. All I could do was win!!

And winning I did. Not only am I convinced that this ride might end up in the top 10 most beautiful ones I'll ever do in my life, I also did a very fine job with managing myself. The belief that there was more to learn than to lose, made it very easy to not be too bothered by all the hypothetical problems I encountered on the road.

E.g. going down steep descends knowing I would have to climb them again with a 34-28, chicken legs and extra resistance from my derailleur touching my cassette. I was just going to do my best, and accept my fate, whatever that would be :) I also accidentally ended up on a highway (thanks Komoot!!), just casually climbed with my bike over the barrier next to it, and continued my way towards the sea, knowing I would find the hotel eventually.

In hindsight I think a big part of the nervousness/anxiety also had to do with me still seeing myself as a younger version of me who would panick at not knowing what to do, then freezes, goes quiet and wants to hide in a corner (or under a table). A self-image that's neither accurate nor serving any purpose.

SO; a day full of new insights, insanely beautiful views and appreciation for myself. Cycling is beautiful 💕